Organising a Funeral
The last thing a parent wants to do is organise their child's funeral, but it does help to be a little prepared, if not on paper then in your own head. It can help to ask a family friend to lend a hand with this, as a means of support. Some people find it helps to have arranged and paid for the funeral in full before needing it, others see this as too upsetting, as if they are sealing their child's fate, The first step is to find a suitable Funeral Director, and recommendation is a good way to go about this.
The way a Funeral Director deals with clients is much more important than the size and familiar name of a company. Ring to make an appointment as it means they can set aside enough time to talk things through. The last thing you want to feel is rushed, and if you have your own ideas about what you would like, then ask. Special arrangements may be made for the release of balloons or doves for example, but these will add to the cost of your child's funeral. Some Funeral Directors will offer their services free when they are dealing with the death of a baby.
Think about the music you want, you do not have to choose hymns or music immediately, and you do not have to have a religious service or hymns if that is your wish. You may have a particular chaplain or faith leader in mind to conduct a service, or your local hospital chaplain, it is entirely up to you. Smaller caskets can be swamped by lots of flowers. You may want to limit the number of people allowed to send flowers and ask for donations to a charity instead. The funeral director should be aware of the clothes you want to dress your child in, and they can do this for you. Above all make sure you and your partner agree the funeral arrangements, consider each others wants and needs no matter how personal they may seem to you, they will have a special meaning for them.